ADHD

“Telling a child with ADHD to concentrate harder or to stop daydreaming is like asking a child who is nearsighted to try to see farther when not wearing glasses.” Nelson Dorta (Pediatric Neuropsychologist)

Wait, What Was I Doing? Oh, Right, ADHD.

You know the feeling…you walk into a room, and suddenly, it’s as if you’ve stepped into a new world, alien and unfamiliar. There is a chair you’ve seen before, always there, and a desk or table, also a furnishing you recognize, but something is missing. Something is out of place, and as your brain tries to remember What, you realize that you have forgotten why you came into the room in the first place.

Was there something you were about to do? A reason you came into the room? Maybe if you look around, you’ll see something that will jog your memory. Did you need something from the room? A book, or a form, or a pen? You check drawers, pat down your pockets, and you know you were doing something. Something that needed doing… It’s okay, right? It can’t be that important if you forget it that quickly.

This happens to everyone, and a moment of forgetfulness isn’t necessarily a sign of anything more complicated or a lasting condition. However, imagine if that kind of distraction was constant, never-ending. For many, that’s what it’s like to live with ADHD.

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is one of the most commonly diagnosed developmental disorders, affecting roughly 7% of children and teenagers. However, misdiagnosis or crossover with similar dysfunctions often skewed those numbers. It is estimated that 25-40% of children and adults with dyslexia are left undiagnosed with ADHD…or undiagnosed with ADHD who also have dyslexia.

Some people enter their late adult years before they discover they have ADHD or dyslexia but have developed such high levels of coping skills that they are able to mask symptoms. These conditions don’t disappear; however, they do become less obvious as people learn to compensate for or manage their symptoms more effectively. ADHD isn’t just a childhood disorder. As we mature, the hyperactivity part can decrease, but it’s not uncommon for people with adult ADHD to continue to feel a sense of restlessness.

The symptoms are difficulty paying attention for long periods of time, completing longer tasks that are not immediately rewarding, or multiple incomplete tasks. If a child can’t sit still or seems relentless in looking for distractions, it’s usually an indicator, but ADHD doesn’t necessarily mean constant hyperactivity. Sometimes, people are living with ADHD hyper-focus. Someone with ADHD might find it impossible to complete homework that should take a few minutes but can spend hours doing something that does not give them the reward their brain is looking for, like playing video games or reading an entire series of novels. Kids considered “bright” in early childhood can get caught in a trap; they learn skills quickly and easily, but without constant review, those skills slip out of attention. Spend too long without doing long division, and it’s impossible to do calculus. It’s a compound problem and is exhausting. 

When ADHD children attend school for the first time, they run into a situation that seems incredibly punitive. They’re expected to stand in line, sit quietly, and listen for long periods of time. They can’t get up and move around; they have to wait their turn, even with all the distractions that don’t seem to bother the other children. These are challenging things for children with ADHD to do.  Some young children may not have been diagnosed with ADHD, and educators may be the first to recognize the symptoms when the children are placed in a more structured setting.

This new environment leads to ADHD children who receive overwhelming negative messages (“Sit down, Billy.” “Wait your turn, Susie.” “Don’t interrupt but raise your hand, only once, and if I call on you, then you can talk, Jill.”). Some children begin to think they are “bad” and can’t understand why others can remain calm and follow instructions so easily. They feel discouragement, hear negative comments frequently, feel that they can’t win, and sometimes experience anger. Those feelings or rejection may lead to a condition called “Oppositional Defiant Disorder,” where a child or adolescent fights back or lashes out with belligerent behaviors.

Differences between what most people call ADD (an older term no longer used often) and ADHD are based on the symptoms exhibited. ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder) has three main symptoms: inattention (difficulty focusing), hyperactivity, and impulsivity.

Imagine you have a freshly washed load of laundry, still warm from the dryer, in a big pile on your bed. Intellectually, you know that folding the laundry will take less than ten minutes of your time, but if you don’t do the dishes first, you might forget. You might be too tired. You won’t get around to it. Your dog barks and wants you to play with him. Emotionally, you might feel disappointment or shame over the dishes in the sink or the barking dog, and the desire to avoid the shame can outweigh the feeling of accomplishment you would get from focusing on folding the laundry and completing that necessary task.  So, you do the dishes instead or play with the dog and push the laundry to the side.

That is an example of “Executive Dysfunction.” While we all go through it, Executive Dysfunction is more severe in people with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. Not only are minor tasks subject to forgetfulness, but necessary or major tasks are, too. Over time, failing (or often forgetting) to finish tasks means that the consequences pile up and feel absolutely overwhelming.

Let’s look at the next bar on this emotional cage: “Decision Fatigue”.  This weird little trick our brains play on us is also universal; it happens to everybody, but again, it’s more pronounced in those with ADHD. Decision fatigue occurs, as the name implies, after a series of decisions; the choices we make first tend to be the most intellectually rational, and throughout the day, the quality of further decisions slowly gets worse and worse.

If you’ve ever had to go grocery shopping after a long day of work, you know exactly how this feels; we buy things we don’t need, or even stuff that we don’t want, because we feel like we want it at the time. We’re tired, and suddenly, the candy bar at the register seems like it’ll make us happy for a moment. The stores are aware of this, by the way; that’s the reason the tabloids are right by the register.

With ADHD, these two mental states stack up on each other like the dishes in the sink. Too many decisions, too many things that require your attention, too many demands on your thoughts and actions, but if you dare to rest, everything falls apart. Fortunately, there is good news. We’re discovering new treatments for ADHD every year, and some medications make a world of difference, making life less disrupted and overwhelming for those with the condition.

If children in your life struggle with ADHD symptoms, or if YOU feel this way too often, talk to a doctor. Resources and help are available, and we’ve included some links below. Above all, remember empathy. Dealing with ADHD requires patience, compassion, and understanding, for yourself if you are ADHD or for others.  

Famous people who have ADHD:
Athletes: Simone Biles, Michael Phelps, Terry Bradshaw, Michael Jordan, Shane Victorino, Louis Smith, Mohammed Ali
Actors/Actresses:
Emma Watson, Mark Ruffalo, Michelle Rodriguez, Busy Phillips, Jim Carrey, Johnny Depp, Channing Tatum, Will Smith, Liv Taylor, Ryan Gosling, Michelle Rodriquez, Woody Harrelson, Zooey Deschanel, Tom Cruise, Danny Glover, Cameron Diaz
Artists: Leonardo da Vinci, Picasso, Van Gogh
Astronauts: Scott Kelly
Authors & Journalists: Lisa Ling, George Bernard Shaw, Agatha Christie, Jules Verne
Cartoonist, Comedians: Dave Pilkey, Rory Bremner, Lee Mack
Chef: Jamie Oliver
Directors/Screenwriters: Greta Gerwig, Daniel Roher
Entrepreneurs: Walt Disney, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Dean Kamen, Richard Branson
Exercise Trainers: Jillian Michael
Explorers: Christopher Columbus
Musicians: Adam Levine, Justin Timberlake, Solange Knowles, Will.I.Am, Dave Grohl, Brittany Spears, John Lennon, Loyle Carnel, Handel, Mozart, Beethoven, Elvis Presley, Avril Levigne, Kurt Cobain, Stevie Wonder, Chance the Rapper
Philosophers: Socrates
Politics: Winston Churchill, Abe Lincoln, John Kennedy, Eleanor Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson
Political Strategists: James Carville
Science: Raven Baxter (Molecular Biologist), Albert Einstein, Steven Hawking, Isaac Newton, Galileo
TV: Ty Pennington (Extreme Makeovers)

Some Resources:


“As a counselor, social worker, and marriage and family therapist, my licenses allow me to help Texas residents with issues interfering in life and relationships. My clients experience changes over time in therapy, not just in addressing life changes and decisions but in understanding that they can be confident in who they are, what they can do, and how to make a plan for success.

Register & schedule for mental health counseling via our home page.)

As a certified Life Coach, I also work with clients (worldwide) to attain personal or work-related goals and live more peaceful and satisfying lives. Please contact my offices at 210-970-1511 for information about scheduling Life Coaching appointments.” - Clifton Fuller.

Read more about the difference between Counseling and Life Coaching Here.

Note: Clifton is the author of “The Marriage Vampire” (dealing with narcissistic personalities), now available on Amazon.


Clifton Fuller LCSW, LPC, LMFT

Clifton Fuller
LCSW, LPC, LMFT

Clifton Fuller

Clifton Fuller is a Texas licensed LCSW-S, LPC-S, LMFT-S, providing counseling services for residents of Texas.  With experience in in-patient hospital settings, therapist and administrative positions, as well as private practice, he is able to address many individual, family, couples, churches, organizations and business professionals needs.  He authored ‘The Marriage Vampire: Dealing with a Narcissistic Personality” available on Amazon and Kindle.  Visit his website CliftonFullerCounseling.com for free blogs on mental health issues, as well as easy client registrations and scheduling 24/7.

https://www.CliftonFullerCounseling.com
Previous
Previous

Worry: the Hidden Thief of Life’s Time and Energy

Next
Next

Bullying