Stimming: When Restlessness Has Purpose
"Stimming is like turning down the radio when you think you smell something burning. It's the way of turning off the other senses so you can make sure nothing is burning".
(Lamar Hardwick)
“Stimming” is a term that indicates self-stimulatory or self-soothing behavior. The public has become more conscious of stimming due to its increased awareness of the Autism Spectrum and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders.
Some stimming behaviors are considered appropriate or acceptable, such as things most of us do, but others that interfere with learning are destructive (to a person or object) or can result in social exclusion, rejection, or stigma. There are rare cases where stimming can be dangerous.
Stimming can take multiple forms but is generally repetitive or unusual movements or sounds. Examples can include flapping fingers, cracking knuckles, drumming your fingers or tapping a pencil on a desktop, biting fingernails, rocking back and forth, twirling hair around your finger, sounds or whistling, or making mouth motions. It may not be noticeable if done for short periods of time but would naturally become more apparent if done for lengthy periods of time or with exaggerated or unusual movements or sounds.
Beyond being a self-stimulatory behavior, stimming is also generally a self-soothing behavior. What does that mean? These sensory stimulating behaviors can help the individual to alleviate anxiety and manage emotions like anger, fear, or excitement. Stimming can help a child calm down by either focusing their attention on the stim or producing associations between the task at hand and behaviors they associate with calmness.
Every person is different. Some of us are active, and some are not; others are tall, and some are shorter; some are young while others are older; and some may have degrees of autism from none to a high degree. Every human behavior that can be observed is on the spectrum of low to high. Some people will do an activity, make a motion, or make a sound a little bit, while others will do it all day or in a repetitive or intrusive manner. The degree to which the behavior is done is related to the acceptability of the behavior.
All of us do stimming from time to time. We need to attend and address it if it becomes problematic.
Some who may show noticeable signs of stimming may have autism, ADHD, Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), schizophrenia, or PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). Stimming usually has triggers that prompt stimming (often related to anxiety), will serve some benefit to the person stimming, and will also include some risks or ‘costs’.
Stimming is included as one of the diagnostic characteristics of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Their stimming may create difficulties with behavior, learning, or communication.
For example, a person tapping their foot may be a stimming movement to self-calm but may also be perceived as being impatient by observers. Another example would be repeating words or phrases. We consider it appropriate to repeat a phone number or address as we commit it to memory, but it is unsuitable if we repeat the exact phrases or words many times, non-stop, or for no reason. Twirling or arranging our hair as we attempt to shape it into a hairstyle might be okay, but constantly twirling it for no apparent reason would be considered inappropriate and damaging.
Kids who stim are frequently and inaccurately perceived as being intentionally disruptive in learning environments at school and at home. In actuality, the child may be trying to focus or to deal with anxiety they may be experiencing in the setting. Sensory stimulation has been shown to impact memory and cognitive associations.
As a caregiver to a child, whether the child is or is not neurodivergent, you may have to determine whether or not the behavior is problematic. Are the behaviors distracting to the child or others or inappropriate?
No matter our age, we can continue learning what is appropriate and inappropriate in life, what is beneficial for us to do and what isn’t, and how to improve or survive difficult life experiences. We must be open to learning about ourselves, even through life experiences, in order to improve our lives and those around us. We must also teach our children vital life skillsets to enable them to make choices that allow them to live better.
Read as much as you can to educate yourself, analyze and wisely try different methods, and work with your child to find a more adaptive substitute if their behaviors are inappropriate or damaging to them or others. Seek medical, school, your school, a respected parent or educator’s input, or counseling from professionals who can help guide you. Find alternatives rather than resorting to punishment or negativity when frustrated. The goal is to eliminate behaviors that are problematic or dangerous but can be safe and enjoyable for a child (or adult) to do if it is practical or functional.
In some cases, stimming causes injuries to children or adults, such as if they hit their heads against a wall, bite, or harm themselves. These behaviors must be stopped. It’s essential to determine the impetus for the behavior. Is the environment particularly stressful? Change the environment. Remember, just because you do not find the environment stressful does not mean the child perceives or reacts to the environment the same way.
It’s important to remember that every adult and every child are different. Some people thrive on noise and chatter, while others thrive on quiet. Some children are overly sensitive to stimuli or noise. Some are under-sensitive. Some need kinetic and tactile stimulation, like playing with Play-Doh or tapping their feet. If the behaviors are maladaptive, help the child find alternatives. You will need to be observant and adaptive to the child’s needs.
Reach out for help if you need it. There are many resources on the internet and in communities to help parents and teachers better help their neurodivergent children.
Additional Resources:
Stimming: Why It Happens and How to Manage It (healthline.com)
RaisingChildren.net/au (The Australian Parenting Website) Stimming and Autism
Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia-Research Institute: Stimming and why it matters
WebMd.com: Autism
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Autism spectrum disorder (ASD): Diagnostic criteria.
”Stimming is an activity that keeps our neurons firing while we’re not meaningful engaged with others or working on a task where we need to concentrate.”
(Mary Barbera)
“For autistic people, stimming can be a great way of managing anxiety. Telling kids not to stim or punishing them for doing so means they lose a vital coping strategy.”
(Jeanette Purkis)
“…when your child is stimming, they are doing the best they can to take care of themselves at that moment. Stimming…helps create an island of predictability in an ocean of randomness.”
(Camila Titone, Son-Rise Program)
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Clifton Fuller
LCSW, LPC, LMFT
